whether it's

one second or one hundred years, I just want you to know that I never meant to be so stupid. To lead you down a road of confusion and frustration with skies filled with nothing but a loss of words for every time i see you.

My heart's going around in this blender of my misconceptions and thoughts, and soon enough the only thing that will be left is just a bloody mixture of heart-ache and regrets. I wish i could tell you upfront; lay down my thoughts and feelings on a place mat where they couldn't hide or fly away from sight. My fears are irrational, I know, but they're there for a reason: it's protecting my heart from disappointment. That disappointment that you will turn me down faster than light, crush my feelings for you with just one finger.

So even though I might have failed at revealing everything I wanted to show you, I still tried. But... I think you were just as afraid as I was. That I would turn my back to you and shout a cold-cutting laugh to the sky at you and your attempt. You started to show me something.. but then you gave up quicker than i had tried to show you.

So this is a promise. I promise not to try to win an impossible race, I won't be out of breath when I see you, my heart won't beat a mile a minute whenever i see that heart-breaker smile of yours, and I will never laugh at your light-hearted jokes that always put me at ease.

I'll promise everything mentioned if you promise me this...
Promise me you won't ever look at me with those paralyzing eyes of yours. Promise that you won't try to make such an effort to try to talk to me. Promise that you will try to keep your distance from me. Because every time i see you, my heart feels whole, the second you leave it explodes into a million pieces and flutters down to the deep depths of my being like confetti; shining and brilliant but nothing more than a mess waiting to be swept away.